If you ever want to feel far older than you actually are, go back to university.

It's weird that it some how makes you feel older and younger in all the worst ways. One night you may encounter 19 year olds gasping in horror at the fact that you were born in the 1900s, or telling you that you 'look good for your age', then the next day you may be chatting to friends about their workdays and marriage, whilst you are back to having your name called out on a register and sticking your hand up to answer a question.

You somehow feel behind in life and decrepit all at the same time.

It really doesn't help that the other night you danced so hard at karaoke your hip started hurting but you kept it to yourself because that just feels like an old person problem..

I have spent all the years of my life till now trying to fight the evil brainwashing we get fed about aging. Recently though, there have many days where I felt 'past my prime'.. as if that is even a thing.

I always said that I would embrace every stage of it. I never ever related to my friends when they were 'sad' about getting older.. and I still don't really? I don't feel sad. I don't dread the fact that my 30s are quickly approaching... so why on earth do I feel 'past my prime'? Is the media conditioning just that good? 

I try and look up the characters ages in the sitcoms I grew up watching, to remind myself I am still in my season 1 by some standards. Which I am. If I watch Sex and the City, I still have 4 years to go before my season 1. 

The thing is, it really is a privilege to age. Every wrinkle we get is a privilege. It's a marker that we have been lucky enough to live this beautiful life. That we have laughed and smiled so hard our skin remembers it. There is no such thing as past your prime.

I'm looking forward to reading this at 35 and laughing at myself for thinking that 28 was old. To then one day look back on how silly I was to think I was old at 35.

It's so easy to feel 'behind in life', it's part of the conditioning we get. But life isn't linear, it's not a game. There is no behind. Things can and will change at any moment. It's a maze and a crazy one at that. 

Whilst going back to university has led to all these feelings for me. It has had me questioning if the emojis I use are too millennial for the group chat, making references that do not land with anyone at the table and suddenly being the only one around who makes 'ooh' and 'ahh' noises I stand up.

It has also been one of the best decisions I ever made. I'm learning things that will potentially be life changing for me career wise. When I finish I'll be 30/31 and entering a whole new life chapter, with a degree as well as 10 years of real world experience, feeling completely ready for my version of Sex and the City season 1. 

I know that I am never going to look back on the life I have lived so far with regrets. I have never not done something because I believed I was 'too old'. I go to dance classes even though I can't dance. I learn ice skating, pole dancing and roller skating despite never having done it as a child. I take surf lessons even if I spend most my time tumbling around in the waves, like a singular shoe in the washing machine. I know that one day I will be proud of myself, looking back at how I went and studied at university despite being the oldest one in most rooms.

If you're reading this, and you are stopping yourself from doing something because you think you're too old. Whether you are 21 or 80, I beg of you to think to yourself, might you regret this hesitation one day?